Boy, Did I Touch a Nerve: I need a "Break!"

So yesterday, I posted a question on social media that certainly touched a nerve with some folks. It was merely a question, although some inferred various things from it. I didn't imply anything, I didn't say anything negative, and it certainly wasn't aimed at any particular person or issue. I was, in part, genuinely curious as to what answers I would get, and in part curious to see how people might react over something so innocuous.

Though I don't usually explain myself, and find it somewhat worthless to do so, the question was simple: Why do spouses feel the need to have nights out with their boys or girls apart from their spouses? Just a question. I did not offer the question in any context, and nowhere did I say having friends outside the marriage was wrong. Nor did I imply I thought it was a problem getting together with them from time to time without one's spouse. (Remember, just because someone infers something from another's comments doesn't necessarily mean the other implied anything.)

Understand, while I have my beliefs on the subject, there is no wrong or right answer. To each his or her own. I was just curious as to what the answers might be.

To be fair, most of the responses were casual, and expected. They have hobbies that their spouses don't share and they like to get out with others to enjoy those interests. Or they have otherwise lifelong friends and they enjoy getting together to catch up. Perfectly normal.

But boy, did I touch a nerve with some others, who not only read into the question much more than was there, but also immediately went on the defensive. I do not know if some felt the answers were obvious and therefore the question didn't need asking, or if they were just offended that anyone would dare to ask. At any rate, I had to fend off some who were obviously upset by the question. I was told "the question is offensive to those who enjoy the time." Though I cannot possibly see how.

One friend said, "This is an argument you will not win." But I wasn't making an argument. Nor was I seeking or trying to start one. I was genuinely just asking a question.

One commenter asked, "What's wrong with married people having friends?" Though I never stated anywhere I thought it was. Another stated that they just needed "Me" time and asked, "Why is that so wrong?" Again, I had to reply that I never stated it was, or that I believed it was. Because I don't. I was somewhat taken aback by the vitriol.

It was an interesting social study how quickly a simple question stirred some into a tizzy. I find that telling.

Others mentioned needing a "break" from their spouse, which, I must confess, is a concept I don't understand. Still others either outright stated or insinuated that never having time apart from a spouse is actually damaging to the relationship. I'm not here to analyze that thought. Just found it interesting.

Others stated that maintaining and fostering relationships outside the marriage is also important. I don't disagree with that at all. Cutting off other friends for the sake of a marriage is never good or healthy, unless those friends are somehow trying to damage or become toxic to the marriage itself. If you have a friend who is constantly griping and complaining to you about your spouse, without any real basis, then it's time to cut that friend loose.

Only one commenter picked up on what I was really asking, which is the idea of "need." They commented that they felt... "the operative word here," in my comment, "is NEED." They were right. They went on to say, "The two of us have never felt that NEED for the now 37 1/2 years of marriage." And that really was what I was looking for, in terms of concept. It's not that it's the "right" answer. It's just that that was the idea I was fishing around for.

Two weeks ago, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez -- J-Lo and A-Rod! -- called it quits. Quite frankly, I couldn't have cared less. I have no interest in celebrity couples who like to play house until it is no longer convenient for them. But what I DO care about is the comment they put out in announcing their split, and the headline it got in most of the major news outlets:

"We're just better as friends."

Let me break that down for you: "The sex was great, but other than that, we couldn't really figure out how to get along, so we'll just pretend we're friends for the public, but really, we'll probably never talk much again."

At least that would have been more truthful.

It's a stupid comment like "We're just better as friends," that is, I believe, not only the biggest myth in relationships today, but also the biggest destroyer of marriages today. We've all heard it before... "You shouldn't date your friends." That literally could not be a more moronic statement. It is absolutely your best friend that you SHOULD be dating, and ultimately, to whom you should be married.

Usually -- not always, but usually -- what first attracts us to a mate is physical traits. We find someone attractive. But if not before, when we didn't realize it, usually somewhere along the way a genuine friendship blossoms -- or at least it should. When you find that friend who is the one you most want to lean into in the good times and bad, that usually is the person you find you'd like to spend the rest of your life with. I'm oversimplifying, of course, but you get the general idea.

Romance and intimacy are easy. You buy some flowers, you put on a sexy outift, you finally end up naked having at it. We're physically designed to make it happen, so it's not that tough. (Please understand, I'm not undervaluing something that for some people, especially in the case of abuse, can be very scary and intimidating and even traumatizing. I'm just making a point that we are designed as physical creatures to procreate and have intimacy.) So in most relationships, romance and intimacy is the easiest part.

But you see, kids, one day, we start to age. Not sure when it happens, but our bodies start not looking like they once did. We start having less and less of a need for physical love, and the need for emotional and psychological love grows. I'm not a psychologist, but if you ask around, I'll bet you'll find thats primarily true. When that time comes, you better have more than just a good sex life holding it all together.

And while having a true friendship is always valuable, it becomes darn-near vital as we age and our relationships last longer and longer. At some point, if not early on, the friendship becomes considerably more important to the flourishing of any marriage than does the physical aspects. Again, please don't misunderstand: regular physical intimacy is a MUST for any marriage. It's just that it's not THE most important part. Think of it this way: A man and woman can stay together forever without having sex, but if they hate each other, no amount of sex will keep them together.

The message of, "We're just better as friends," has been destroying the minds of young people and ruining marriages for centuries. Think about it: I've never heard anyone say, "I just need a break away from my best friend." Indeed, most people are clamoring for more time spent with their besties. But you hear, "I just need a break from my spouse," pretty regularly. Alarmingly so, I believe.

Ginger and I have natural times apart. Time apart that simply happens organically. I play music, and still occasionally dabble in golf or some other activity. There are times she joins me, as she's always welcome, but not always. I'll golf with a buddy, or jam with my musical friends. We might grab some lunch or something together. Ginger has her own interests. Ladies she'll have a breakfast or Bible study with, or a game night with other ladies to which she gets invited. But those breaks happen naturally, during the course of our everyday lives. And those occurrences provide the natural "breaks" from each other without any real effort behind it. We're just living normal, everyday lives for Pete's sake.

But I am being honest when I say I have never once "needed" a break from Ginger. I have never had a "need" to "hang out with the boys" to get away from my wife for awhile. I'm not even sure I understand what "me time" really is, because she is what makes me happy. Heck, if it wasn't for Ginger's own refusal of invitations, she'd be with me all the time, as I never do anything with anybody she isn't welcome to join. And I don't want to speak for her, but I'd bet you she'd say the same thing. Sorry -- not sorry. That's just us.

None of which is to say the answers and comments I got on my post yesterday were wrong. It was just very telling that some got so defensive about it right out of the chute. So please, you do you and I'll do me. You certainly didn't ask for, nor do you need, my stamp of approval. Who am I anyway?

But I will say this: And this comes from 40+ years of really having a keen interest in watching and observing marriages, so take it for what its worth. Rarely have I seen a truly happy marriage where either spouse felt they "needed" a break from each other. If you feel that "need" in your marriage, perhaps there's more there than you realize. That's just a friendly heads up.

By the way, the winning comment yesterday came from my brother, Troy McGranahan... "I steal things... and I don't want her to be involved.

Rock on, brother... rock on!

My First Reds Game: a Thank You to my Uncles.

It is no secret I'm a big Cincinnati Reds fan. My Indiana friends and family knew it as just a core part of who I am. As my South Carolina friends learn of it -- and see my Reds Room for the first time -- they are struck by how anybody can be so obsessed. Here, being a fan of anything besides Clemson and the University of South Carolina, especially a pro team, most definitely sets one apart from the crowd.

My Uncle Danny just recently passed away. The youngest brother of my mother, I can't say we were close. Growing up, and into my adult years, we never lived near each other, and as such just saw each other at family get togethers, which, sadly, were not frequent. I have few memories of time shared with Uncle Danny over the years, but there is one that stands out: He took me to see my first Reds game.

April 29, 1980. I was 10 years old.

Another of my uncles, my Uncle Mike, lived in Cincinnati when we were growing up. Together, Uncle Mike and Uncle Danny shared a love of cars, especially working on and refurbing old classics. I truly do not remember the details, so my recollections of the events that led to us attending the game are admittedly murky, and could very easily be flat out wrong. In any case, through some form of gathering, my uncles ended up taking both me and my brother to a Reds game.

Again, my memory of the day's events, even of the game itself, are cloudy, but here's what I do remember...

1) On the way to the game, we stopped to eat at a Burger Chef restaurant in Batesville, IN. Today, that building is a Skyline Chili restaurant. The restaurant is right off the highway exit and Batesville is literally a halfway point between where I lived in Indiana, and downtown Cincinnati, and has always been a good place to stop for a bite and fill up. I have stopped there many times with my family over the years to eat at Skyline on our trips back and forth to Cincy.

The reason I remember stopping at Burger Chef that day is because in those days, Burger Chef's equivalent to McDonald's Happy Meal was called a Fun Meal, and they came in little cardboard trays that had little perforated, baseball-shaped cards on the back and bottom. You could request any team you wanted, and if they had it in stock, you got it. I, of course, requested a Reds Fun Meal, and got it! It was, of course, one of many Reds Fun Meals I would have eaten in those days, as we had a Burger Chef restaurant in my home town of Mooresville. What I didn't know then, and what I know now, was that those Fun Meal boxes with the cards on the back was one of my first forays into Reds memorabilia collecting. As is the case with anything in the moment, you don't know it's memorabilia, and you rarely hang on to the item. Sadly, I did not keep a single Fun Meal box from those days, although it is true that I have a few of the original cards from those boxes. But I loved them so much, that I did, through the miracle that is eBay, purchase an original Fun Meal box with the Cincinnati Reds for my collection, and it hangs prominently from the ceiling in my Reds Room today. (Picture included.)

2) My memories of the game itself are equally as fuzzy. I remembered the Reds played the Astros, and it was the first year after Joe Morgan had left the Reds and returned to Houston. I remember being very upset having to watch Morgan come to bat for the Astros against the Reds. I remember also not like the Reds manager, John McNamara, much at all, as he had replaced the legend, Sparky Anderson a couple years before. Pete Rose was gone by that time too, but he was off somewhere else with the Phillies that day. The only detail about the game I remember is that the Reds lost, 3-0, and that Morgan had scored one of the runs for the Astros that day. Made it even more heartbreaking.

I remember seeing Riverfront Stadium up close for the first time, and how green the turf was inside the stadium and how big it all looked. We sat somewhere down the third base line, but I don't remember exactly where. Morgan and Rose were gone, but I remember distinctly the excitement of watching Bench and Concepcion and Griffey and Foster. I remember being thrilled, even if I don't remember much else.

Flash forward nearly 40 years. As I have accumulated and decorated my Reds Room, thoughts of my first game would pop up in my head every now and then. While I have items in the Room that have survived from my childhood, there aren't many, and I honestly do not know if any of the items I do have were acquired at that game or not. The few details I could recall -- Morgan playing for the Astros and the 3-0 loss -- were the only clues I had to go on to try to get more info on the game itself, and the date it was played.

A search through the game databases on Baseball-Reference.com finally led me to the game on April 29, 1980. It's the only game that fits my memories, although I don't remember it being a night game, and I can't figure out why my Mom would have let us go on a school day. Perhaps it was during our Spring Break, which is the only thing that makes sense.

Nevertheless, there it is. Reds loss to the Astros, 3-0, on a Tuesday night in April, in the Spring of my 10th year. The box score confirms Morgan going 1-4 on the day, scoring a run for the Astros. The Reds Charlie Liebrandt started and threw 8 solid innings of 3-run ball, but was out-dueled by Astros righty, Ken Forsch, who only allowed 3 hits to the Reds in a shutout performance. I had correctly guessed who I'd believed had started that day for the Reds, except for Harry Spilman, who started in place of regular 1st Baseman, Dan Driessen. Interestingly, the Astros starting lineup that day featured 3 players who would go on to play for the Reds later in their careers. And, Art Howe, who would go on to manage the A's during their Moneyball heyday.

Throughout my Reds Room, I have several ticket stubs from games we've attended over the years. No where near ALL the games we've attended, and no rhyme or reason to why I have the ones I do. Just stubs we never discarded for one reason or another, and made for good space fillers on the wall.

However, for some in the memorabilia world, ticket-stub collecting is a big deal. And if one has an accompanying stub from a game at which a particular piece of memorabilia was obtained -- a game-used ball or bat, or a bobblehead, or some other giveaway -- than the value of the memorabilia is increased. Often, when I've purchased an item I've wanted, it came with a stub from the game, even though I didn't request it. It's not something I seek in my collecting, but it is certainly an important slice of the memorabilia collecting world, and there are several collectors out there who deal extensively in ticket stubs.

I began to ponder, as I watched other collectors seek and obtain certain ticket stubs for their collections -- perhaps a stub from the game on the day their kid was born, or a stub from their wedding day, etc. -- could there be a ticket stub floating around out there from April 29, 1980? I put the word out what I was looking for on the primary memorabilia page I deal with on Facebook. It was a long shot, I knew, but didn't hurt to ask. Within minutes, a fellow member told me to reach out to another certain collector to see if he could help.

So I did.

The gentlemen responded to my request with a simple, "I have one," followed by a picture of the stub. I couldn't believe it. There it was: a simple, small, green ticket stub with Reds logo and line-drawing of Riverfront Stadium from April 29, 1980. What are the odds? Pretty good, as it turns out.

A very reasonable and attractive price was offered for purchase of the item, and I sent the money immediately. A week later, I was holding the stub in my hands. Pretty amazing, now that I think about it.

Of course, my immediate thoughts were how to display it in the Reds Room. Without boring you with how things have to be moved around to make it fit, I decided on the display you see in the picture here. A custom-made red matte, 16x20, with room for cards for the 9 starters for the Reds that day, along with a 10th space for an Astros Joe Morgan card. Just didn't feel right to leave him out. I have plenty of Reds cards, so I made sure each card for each player was a different year and style. I created the center picture collage with a photo I took of Riverfront some years ago (top), along with some other stock photos of the stadium. Some custom vinyl to title the piece, and the stub tacked neatly below the collage inside a plastic holder, and it's done. It occurred to me to print the box score from the game and include it, but I decided against it.

My memories of that day end at the Fun Meal and the score, a 3-0 loss. But I will be forever thankful for my Uncles Danny and Mike for taking me to my first game. I'm only sorry I never took the chance to tell Uncle Danny thanks before he passed. To my Uncle Mike... thank you.

I have a thousand memories and hundreds of pictures from literally over a hundred games in the years since then, most of them with my wife and kids. I cherish them all, and indeed some hang from the walls in the Reds Room to this day. But I'm glad to renew the memories from that first game, and get the chance to memorialize it in my favorite space.

Come down and take a look some time.

Living by the Ocean

So my Facebook memory today was a photo overlooking the beach from the balcony of my in-laws' condo in Delray Beach, FL. Ginger took the picture on her first visit there in 2011, and then a year later, our whole family had the pleasure of vacationing there, which was my first time there.

I chronicled each day of that vacation in my blog at the time (you can find those blogs on the right side of this page. Scroll down the years to 2012, and then to the month October. You can read each day there.)

We still lived in Indiana when that vacation took place. And it was interesting to read my thoughts about being near the ocean every day. It was on that vacation Ginger and I first really started considering what a move to the ocean might look like. It was very preliminary at the time, and ramped up with each visit we would make to our other in-laws' cottage here in Hilton Head, but it would be another four years before we would actually pull the trigger.

It was, in short, the best decision we ever made.

As I look back on that journal, I can see the wheels turning in the observations I make, and the questions I ask. I was really smitten with the sunrise, and the sereneness of the beach. I wondered aloud if the locals ever get used to its beauty. I reflected that the time I was getting to spend with our boys was dwindling. I pondered why things seemed so much more beautiful in a place like that, even though I was surrounded by God's beauty in many things every day in Indiana. I had to remind myself that every place was beautiful as long as I was with Ginger. 

That was over eight years ago. Both our boys, who were on that vacation with us, are now grown, moved out, graduated from college, living in Nashville, and married. Cody just gave us our first granddaughter. And we have now lived near the beach here in South Carolina for over four years. We don't visit that condo by the beach in Delray any more, mostly because we live by the ocean now, and partly because my Mother-in-Law has randomly decided she no longer likes me very much. But I digress.

So I have some new observations, so far removed from that vacation where we lived in Indiana but dreamed of living by the beach.

I questioned if the locals ever get used to the beauty of the beach, living by it every day. The answer for us is, no, we don't get used to it. The beauty of the ocean at any time of the day, but especially at sunrise, still takes my breath away every time I see it. And I often make a drive across the bridge onto the island every now and then specifically to get a look at the water. I WILL admit that we take it for granted far too often. It's very nice knowing we can get up and go to the beach any time we want to, but to our detriment, we don't go often enough. I have to remind myself at times that that's part of the reason we moved here.

I commented quite a bit about how relaxing that vacation was. Now, the laid back vibe of this place has a great deal to do with why we like it here so much. It's hard to put our finger on that vibe, but I can tell you its vastly different from every day life in Indiana. Everything is so laid back here. And the people are genuinely nice all the time. Life just moves at a slower pace, and that's a welcome change as time always seems to go by faster and faster as we age.

Life moves slower, but its still easy to get caught up in the mundane, every-day, ho-hum. Work and a myriad of other things can still get in the way, and so you still have to be intentional about taking a step back and breathing it all in once in a while. What's nice about living in a place like this is that there's a lot of opportunities to do that. A sunrise at the beach, a walk in the park, a golf cart ride down to the river (or to Walmart!) a round of golf at one of the seven courses within five minutes of my house, or just chillin' on the back patio under the most vivid starlight I've ever seen. A good friends of mine down here posted on his FB page a couple years ago, "The great thing about living here is that you don't have to go very far to feel like you're a million miles away."

I STILL get turned on at the site of my wife in swimsuit.

It's very cool living in a place with alligators and dolphins.

I mentioned the satisfaction I found in not always "seeing and doing," but rather "relaxing and being." It's very easy to do that here. There is indeed power in the ocean, the salt in the air, and the wind in my face.

Speaking of Florida... I still can't wrap my head around the idea that I can literally wake up in the morning, drive to Florida, and be back at home in my bed that night if I want to. In my brain, Florida will always be a days drive away.

I didn't use to like going back home from vacation. For 45 years of my life, leaving vacation was always depressing.

Not anymore.

That Racist Dr. Seuss

So yesterday, you saw my post, as well as the news story for the rest of the world, the story about the cancellation of Dr. Seuss.

With some clarification, it is important to note that the Seuss organization has chosen to cease the printing of only six titles written by the legendary author, titles they feel no longer represent Dr. Seuss and how he'd want to be portrayed. Rest assured, those books will eventually be erased from bookshelves all over the country, but for now, they're still out there, as well as all the other Seuss books we know and love.

So in truth, Seuss has not been fully "cancelled," as it were. But here's the problem: You've heard me say it many times before. Nothing is ever enough with the Left. This will not stop. First it was just racist statues. Now it's Dr. Seuss and Mr. Potato Head. Could you ever have imagined? Who among you could have fathomed even five years ago that ANY Seuss books would be censored? Or that we'd be concerned with the gender of a make-believe, plastic potato. And yet, here we are. You think it will stop there? What will it be next? It will never be enough. There will be more and more books, toys, music, programming, history, and freedom of speech banned and canceled and censored if the Left is allowed to continue their insanity.

It. Will. Not. Stop.

What we know, according to the Seuss people themselves, is that the decision was made after the organization said they "listened and took feedback from our audiences including teachers, academics and specialists in the field as part of our review process. We then worked with a panel of experts, including educators, to review our catalog of titles." Nowhere in their statement does it say they consulted parents and kids. No, it was only "experts" and "educators."

You know what that means? Kids and parents have been reading Dr. Seuss for decades and say, "Look! It's a cat in a hat being silly. And zebras! And green scrambled eggs!" But they showed it to a bunch of mindless leftists and said, "Find the racism!" It really is absurd.

I mean, including ourselves, virtually every one of us, along with our entire circle of family and friends, have been reading Dr. Seuss since we were infants. Have any of you, even a single time, ever thought to yourself, or had a friend or family member say to you, "You know, there's some crazy racist stuff in those Seuss books."?

Of course not. But some Liberals got hold of it all, and set out prowling around for what they could find, and by golly, they found it. And now, they're going to save our children by banning it.

No, kids. It will not stop. Paint this however you want it. It's ONLY 6 books. And then it will be 6 more, and 6 more, and 6 more...

A writer I read yesterday said to go out now and buy all the physical media you can... books, CD's, toys, etc. Because it will eventually become slim pickin's. Once they're cancelled and out of print, they'll be erased from the internet, and our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren will never have access to it. It'll be gone forever.

Fortunately, I physically have the Mulberry Street book in my possession. And I will continue to read it to my grandkids, as I read it to my children, for however many generations I make it through. The Mrs. and I read it aloud together this morning. There is mention on a single page of a Chinese boy who eats with sticks. And even though Chinese boys to this very day (along with lots of white Americans) eat with sticks on a regular basis, that is literally the only thing in the entire book I can even remotely fathom that could be targeted, unless the Cancel Culture leftists have a problem with blue elephants. An entire book, censored and erased from history, because Chinese people like to use chopstick when they eat. Makes me wonder if China is, at this very moment, banning Chinese children's books that mention Americans using forks?

Would be laughable if it weren't so sad -- and ludicrous.

A couple days ago was "Read Across America" day. It is a day each year usually proclaimed by the President himself. Former presidents, including Obama and Trump, have mentioned Dr. Seuss by name while making the proclamation, noting how important he has been to the children in our culture. But not this year. President Biden made no mention of Seuss... and this was a day or two BEFORE the Seuss people made their announcement.

"But it's just 6 books...."

Not for long.

No... Biden's Inauguration was NOT Historic

The 2021 Inauguration Day is not a historic day. Not even close. I fully believe history will see it as a disastrous day for our country.

But let's look at what happened on January 20:

1) We held an inauguration. Nothing special about that. Has happened every four years since our country's inception. Every inauguration bums some people out, and elates others, but it happens nevertheless. Those who are excited about those who are being inaugurated like to say that it's historic, but it rarely is. Barack Obama's first was historic, for obvious reasons, but outside of that, the only truly "historic" inauguration we've seen in the last century was Donald Trump's. Never before in this country had a true outsider -- a person who'd held no previous political office -- been elected as our President. Not all newly elected Presidents are career politicians, but most of them are, and rare are the few who did not at least have some prior experience in the political field. Donald Trump did not.

2) The man inaugurated today as the 46th President of the United States truly could not be LESS historic. He is as average, mundane, and redundant a candidate as we've ever seen. A career politician who has leached off the government for the last 50 years, without a single significant contribution to the betterment of America from his time in Congress to show for it. And to boot, a man who'd not only tried and failed two times before, but was forced to drop out of a previous presidential race because of corruption. A man like that is nowhere near historic.

3) Characteristically speaking, this man literally represents everything of which the party that elected him claims to disdain:

He's white; the epitome of white privilege that Liberals claim is the scourge of society.

He's old. So old, in fact, that very few people believe his health will survive his four year term. The Democrat Party has spent the last 50 years or so screaming about how the youth of America are the future, how old people are out of touch, and specifically the last four years bashing President Trump in part for his age.

He's wealthy. Granted he became wealthy on the backs of the taxpayer. But Democrats claim to hate wealth, and openly advocate for socialistic redistribution of wealth.

He has a history of racism. If there's anything Democrats like doing, it's holding people's past against them, especially if there's even a hint of racism involved. Then Senator Biden's grilling of black, Supreme Court judge Clarence Thomas was nothing less than cringe-worthy from a racial perspective. The kind of grilling that would instantly get lambasted as racist today and likely result in a forced resignation. And the only real legislation Biden in which was ever involved was a Crime Bill in the mid 1990's that resulted in incarcerating black males in historical numbers. Among other incidences, Biden's decades as a US Senator is a litany of one damaging blow to blacks after another.

He's a perv. In addition to the allegations of sexual misconduct, of which there are several, the countless videos of how he nuzzles women and children are downright nauseating. Donald Trump was lambasted almost daily for his treatment of women well before he was ever a politician. And Democrats used completely fabricated sexual misconduct allegations to attempt to bring down a perfectly righteous Supreme Court candidate. On a day when they were also celebrating the first woman to become a Vice President, they literally elected a man as President who has a very shady past as it relates to women -- a past far more damaging and disqualifying then the one they attempted to fabricate against Judge Kavanaugh.

4) Speaking of women, the Democrat party "loved" Kamala Harris -- a woman who has serious allegations of sleeping her way to success -- so much she was literally the first primary candidate to drop out of the race this past year because she could raise no funding in her own party. The party disdained her so much that they would not contribute in any way to her campaign. And of the numerous hose-heads who filled up the Democrat primary ticket, she was the first to drop out of the race. A white woman who literally lied about her racial heritage was vastly popular to Harris, so much so she was considered a front-runner for the nomination well into its latter stages months after Harris had dropped out of the race.

So there's your history. An old, white, crusty, failing health and mental capacity, corrupt, perverted, career politician and a black woman so disliked by her party she was the first to be forced to drop out of the race for its nomination.

And I have no illusions whatsoever about, nor hope for, their promises of unity. Indeed, Biden has already proven through a record-setting flurry of Executive Orders that his administration will be little else than a radical Liberal, vile, vindictive, and highly spiteful assault on Conservatives, and specifically, anyone who supported Trump. And he has no concern for collateral damage, as many of the edicts passed with his pen will hurt Democrat faithful as well. Unity be damned -- it's all out war on Trump and his supporters.

No, this year's inauguration was not historical at all. It was sad.

South Carolina -- 4 Years!

It was early June of 2014. My wife and I were having a discussion. In the past year and a half, we'd lost no less than than three dear friends and family members to tragic, all-too-early deaths. Our oldest son was already out of the house off to college, and in just a couple years, our younger son would leave the nest as well. We'd dreamed of moving and living near the ocean for nearly 25 years, mostly because of the benefits to the Mrs.' health, but also because we were beginning to realize that tomorrow is never promised. And we wanted to make a better life for ourselves. And now we were ready. We realized we could either do it, or still be sitting around 10 years later talking about doing it, if the Good Lord let us live that long.

So we put our house of 18 years up for sale. We moved into a temporary home, and rental from my Mom. A year later, in the summer of 2015, that home flooded, and we lost about 3/4 of our possessions. It galvanized our resolve even further. It was time to move to greener pastures -- or in our case, sandier beaches!

After another year of wrangling and moving from one temporary place to another, and through the sheer grace of God aligning all the stars in our favor, we did it. We packed up what we owned, our dog, and my mother, and we moved to the ocean.

December 12, 2016. Four years ago. It doesn't seem that long, and yet, it almost seems a lifetime ago. Our entire lives, our entire existence, is totally different from the life we lived in Indiana.

I lived in Mooresville, IN, for the first 47 years of my life. My wife and I were born and raised there. It was the only life we'd ever known. Now, four years removed, it almost seems as foreign to me as did living by the ocean 25 years ago. 

Please don't read anything into what I'm about to say in the next few paragraphs: I will always cherish Mooresville, IN. It was a wonderful place in which to grow up and raise a family. We still dearly love and miss family and friends who are still there. I have deep friendships and tight business colleagues with whom I communicate regularly. And it's always nice to see our loved ones when we visit. Our move was never about Mooresville, or Indiana, or the people or places.

It was about us.

But Indiana is not our home anymore. Bluffton, South Carolina is our home now. And we love it! Four years here have entrenched us in the Lowcountry life. Dern-near perfect weather year round, friendly people, robust business, and a vibe in the culture that simply cannot be explained until you live in it every day. We're literally minutes away from some of the coolest places you'll ever visit, like Savannah, GA, not to mention pristine beaches. The ocean and the salt air have done for my wife's health exactly what we'd hoped. And living in the sunshine almost daily never hurt anybody.

The community has accepted us with open arms, as they do everybody, it seems. No one is in a hurry. Everybody is nice all the time. Sure, it's not perfect. There's some black holes in the universe, as there are anywhere. But the positives FAR outweigh the negatives. I've made new friends. Gotten involved in a great church family. Found opportunities to play music -- on my terms! My business has flourished here, as the opportunities for small business people seem almost endless. And even though it surprises my friends and family back in Indy, I do not miss one iota being Mr. Microphone. Not one bit. I had my days on the stage and behind the mic. They were great. I'm not sad they're over.

Mostly, I get to hang out with my wife almost everyday. And her days of being down with illness are so much fewer than before. Aside from the obvious, like brain tumors and sinus surgeries, I'm not sure many of our friends and family in Indy truly knew just how sick Ginger was on a daily basis there. The weather, more than anything, just wasn't her friend. She was a trouper, and never let the outside world really know how bad it was. She's been freed from a great deal of that. No, she wasn't magically healed. Her body and her immune system are such that she will never be completely healthy all the time. But the daily grind is over for her. The ocean is a great place to get well! And her good days far outnumber her bad.

Four years have gone by so fast, and yet sometimes feel like an eternity. There's still a newness and unfamiliarity with so many places here. There are roads in Indy I could still drive to this day with my eyes closed at night. (State Road 144 from 67 to 37 anyone?) I haven't reached that level of comfort yet here, even as things become more and more familiar. It's hard to replace 47 years of brain and muscle memory.

And yet, the last time we were in Indiana earlier this Fall was the first time since we moved that we didn't feel as though we belonged. We felt like visitors. The changes were unfamiliar, even as I still am somewhat in the loop there. It just didn't feel like home anymore. The Mrs. felt the same way. And that's not a sad thing. It's just the reality. South Carolina is our home now.

When we leave, for a visit to Indy, or even a vacation, we look forward to coming home. We miss it here when we're not here. I still get giddy when we drive back into the community the same way I did when we used to vacation here. We love our home, and we love the area even more. We have not one single regret, other than to wish we would have made the move years earlier.

So as I've tried to provide periodic updates, especially to my friends back in Indy, I suspect, unless something drastic changes, this will probably be the last full update. What you need to know is above. We've settled in quite nicely, and while I've learned to never say "Never," I can't imagine life for us proceeding anywhere other than here anytime soon.

And I'll end again with this... come see us! Soon. Today. Don't wait. No, I don't care about a pandemic. Not in the least. We love to show the place off, and our doors -- and our guest bedrooms -- are always open to whoever wants to drop by.

But be careful... it gets in your blood real quick, and you may find yourself making a move soon, rather than later!

My Uncle Paul

My Great Uncle Paul passed away last night. "Great" doesn't begin to describe him. He was my namesake. Having the good fortune to have been born on his birthday, my Mom named me after her favorite Uncle, and I am honored to have shared our first and middle names.

Paul Donald.

Unless we could see each other at Thanksgiving, each year on the day of our birthday, I would try to give him a call, and we would share just a few minutes wishing each other well. (One did not have "long" conversations with Uncle Paul.) A few years ago, we went out together on our birthday, and I phoned him two years ago, which, sadly, was the last time I spoke with him. I didn't call him this year, to my detriment, and COVID cancelled Thanksgiving. Life, sometimes, just gets in the way, and the moment slipped past. But I thought of him, and I'm sure, in some small corner of his mind, he thought of me. I take some comfort in being able to boast that the last time I spoke to him, I told him I loved him.

When I was a young boy, he taught me ways about being a man. His life exemplified how to be a man. Because he was a man.

A real man.

A strong man.

A friendly man.
A good man.

A family man.

A veteran of the Navy, and though retired, he worked -- which is to say, he did manly stuff he wanted to do -- well into his 80's, with the strength and virility of a man half his age. It was not uncommon to see him up on a roof in the noonday sun, working circles around men far younger than he. A nasty fall a few years ago would have done in a man of less stature, but the doctors commented it was that very stature and strength in his advanced years that allowed him to survive it.

When people die at early ages, we lament their passing as far too soon. When they die in advanced years, we take comfort in knowing they've lived life to the full. At 94 years of age, it is easy to be comforted by saying that he lived a long, happy life. And he most certainly did, for sure. And yet, for Uncle Paul, 94 years just seems too soon.

Because he was a man.

His wife of 71 years, our beloved Aunt Pat, and his four amazing daughters are some of my favorite people in the world. And even though we don't see each other much anymore, when we do get together, though our faces are a little more wrinkled, and our hair a little more gray, it's as though time hasn't passed. And Uncle Paul was always there, always friendly, always willing to talk if spoken to, and always with the firmest, manliest handshake I've ever felt.

Because he was a man.

A good man.

Perhaps -- O Lord, just perhaps -- there might come a day when people will say that about me, and I'll know I've made my namesake proud.