I'm done.
I'm done arguing with people on Social Media. There's an old saying that says the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
I'm going insane.
It's not getting me anywhere, and it's probably doing more harm than good.
First, a few truths: 1) At the end of the day, there are only a handful of people who regularly oppose my posts. And by a handful, I mean five or six different people. I know full well there are others who do so as well, and for whatever reason -- not the least of which is family and friendly peace -- they choose not to engage the debate, at least publicly. I can totally respect that, and at times would have been wise to act accordingly likewise. Go figure.
2) There are many, many more who agree with my posts. Of course, our friend lists tend to encompass many who usually see eye-to-eye with us more often than not. I'm a Conservative Christian. It would only be natural that the bulk of my friends would be Conservative Christians as well. As such, they're more likely to agree with my thoughts, and I theirs, most often. Nevertheless, usually, many more of my friends tend to agree with my posts than disagree. It's not imprudent to make a decision on where I want to spend most of my energy.
3) Social Media in general, and Facebook specifically, is really all about the personal nature of it all. "It's my wall," is a phrase often seen on FB. That's true, but then, if I'm willing to advertise to the world what I'm thinking that day, or what I'm having for dinner, or my hot daughter in her bikini, then I suppose I should be willing to accept whatever comments come my way. And unless I'm totally willing to either seriously whittle down my friends list, and/or change all my postings to private settings, rather than public, then I shouldn't be surprised when I get a little backlash every now and then.
And the reality is, I'm not surprised. Not at all, actually. But there was a time, not too long ago, I rather enjoyed some of the give and take. I just don't anymore.
Not because it's not important, but because it has become totally pointless. (There are some who would tell me, "Duh, Paul, we knew that a long time ago." I guess I'm not as smart as I want to believe I am!)
But, you see, its very trendy in today's world to tout the concepts of open-mindedness, open-dialogue, frank discussion, and what-not. I've espoused those very ideas before myself. But at the end of the day, the end goal, whether we want to admit to it or not, is not to have an open debate, but to attempt to sway the opinion of the other, and prove our point. We all like to believe we're being open minded, and that we're open to new ideas, or even changing our old ones. But in my several years of social media debates, I haven't changed one mind of those who regularly disagree with me. And they haven't changed mine.
Maybe I'm not the great debater I think I am. Perhaps I'm just not very good at making an argument. Maybe. But I suspect rather that we're all hard-headed.
I'll speak for me, although I'd bet we all think this way: I don't want to debate. I want you to come around to my way of thinking. I'm not an old rooster, but I'm not a Spring chicken either. I've been around the block enough to be pretty set in my ways. America has been having "conversations" about things for two centuries, and yet, here we are. Society is as divided today as it ever has been.
Today's society wants to believe it's enlightened. It's not. We want to believe we have some sort of handle on things no generation before us has ever grasped. To wit: Two thousand years of Bible study has given way to the belief that we've somehow grasped some new meaning of Scripture in the last 10 years that the greatest Bible scholars in history never got. It's absurd.
I'm opinionated, no question. I have been for a very long time. Especially politically. And I've always believed that one's opinions only matter if they're based in and supported by truth and facts. It's not enough to just say, "I believe this..." and not back it up with anything. People won't listen to that very often. I've tried to operate in this fashion as often as possible. There are those who would disagree with that, but I promise I've tried.
But I've come to the conclusion that most people won't listen regardless. A favorite pastime in today's world is to accuse others of being too "judgmental." What right do we have to judge, they say. Christians are most often accused of this, and far too often, by other Christians. The problem is that they have a totally messed up interpretation of the concept of "judging" they're trying to peg on us.
So, we get accused of not "loving" enough, or not "adding to the conversation," or not being "open-minded" or "wanting to dialogue."
But I've come to learn the people who oppose my ideas don't give a crap about what I think anyway! They don't want to "have a conversation" with me. They just want to tell me how wrong I am.
And that's OK. If I've learned anything in my 45+ years, it's that I'm not always right. And others have every right to oppose me, even if they are the ones who are wrong. But, if I thought the "conversation" was getting me anywhere, I might continue it.
It's not.
So I'm choosing not to participate anymore.
But that doesn't mean I'm going away. In fact, it means the opposite. But before I elaborate on that, let me explain one more thing.
As a Christian, I believe in some absolute truths. There are ways of God that are simply not open to discussion, interpretation, evaluation, and so forth. Again, understanding that others might disagree here, let me say this: I don't care.
Every good preacher will encourage his congregation to study the Word for themselves. He will tell them not to just blindly take the preacher's word for it. But you won't hear them stand in the pulpit, deliver the sermon, and then say, "But hey, that's my interpretation of the Bible. If you choose to interpret it differently, feel free. Whatever truth you come up with is fine by us!"
Matt Walsh is a blogger I read regularly. I've said this before and I'll say it again here: I do not always, blindly, agree with every opinion he posts, but I find I agree with his thoughts far more often than not.
He wrote a blog a couple days ago that spoke to me deeply. Because it has been something that has been on my heart for some time. I won't rehash it all here, but you can check it out here, and you should go read it right away. My detractors will not like it very much, and there will even be many Christians who don't like it very much.
I think it's spot on. We have become a generation of Christians who have allowed the outside world to define our Christianity for us. They accuse us of "judging" when we're pointing out sin. They accuse us of not "loving" people the way Jesus did when we seek to hold others accountable. They tell us we're close-minded when we're not accepting of "alternative" lifestyles. The tell us the Bible is old, out-dated, and not relevant in today's society.
Inasmuch as I believe it is unfair of me to expect non-Christians to live by Biblical standards, it's also unfair to allow others who don't believe in the Bible anyway to tell me how I should act in my Christian faith. I know the truth of the Bible. And while we always have room to learn, I don't think it's boastful to say that I'm comfortable in standing on what I believe those truths to be.
I know the Bible doesn't teach us never to judge, but rather it teaches us how to judge. I know that Jesus was the most loving individual to ever walk the earth. I know we're called to love others, and there are a lot of lost people out there who need that love. But I also know Jesus loved people enough to not encourage them to continue in their sin, and often called out their sin to their faces. It will never be OK with me to "agree to disagree" with people who are engaged in sin that is going to send them to Hell, all under the ruse that we're "meeting people where they are." If we truly love them, we are going to encourage them to leave the world and cleave to Jesus.
In today's world, we're told it's not OK to claim we're right. We're told everything is up to interpretation, and that we have no right to assume we're correct about an issue, and someone else is wrong. Compromise is all the rage. "Agreeing to disagree" is seen as a better alternative to standing on absolute truth.
Well, they're wrong. There are things that are good and right in the world, and there are things that are bad and wrong. And I'm done trying to defend my views to others who simply won't ever believe I'm right anyway. Everyone has a right to their opinions. And everyone doesn't have to believe I'm right. But I don't have to think they are either, and I'm done fighting about it.
I tell you all that to say that I'm done trying to defend what I believe, at least in the way most people on FB want me to. In 1 Peter 3:15, the Bible tells us we should always be ready to provide a defense for what we believe, and I'm more than OK with that. I'm happy to discuss the Word of God with anyone who genuinely wants to learn more about it, and I'll share the Gospel every chance I get. But I'm done fighting with those who only want to oppose my views because they've chosen not to believe the Bible anyway. I'm going to tell people what I believe to be the truth of the Gospel without shame, and without compromising it so as to not hurt others' feelings. I'll let God do the rest.
I've considered long and hard about blocking some folks, or unfriending others, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I still don't want to close myself off to opposing thought. And I'm not dumb enough to believe I can never learn something from someone else. There's a lot of wisdom out there still to be found, even from those who don't think like I do all the time.
So from now on, I'm going to post what I want on FB, either in a post, or a link to my blog, or share some other article or thought, and leave it at that. If others want to fight about what I post, so be it. Have at it. But I'm not gonna. If I didn't believe it was a valid point to begin with, I wouldn't have posted it. I'm simply not going to fight about it about it anymore. And I'm not going to fight with others on their posts. If I don't agree with something a friend of mine posts, I'm just going to disagree privately and move on.
If people want to comment I'm a scumbag, or tell me I'm a genius, so be it. If someone points out something I'm wrong about, and it proves to actually be wrong, I'll apologize and fix the mistake. Otherwise, I'll stand by my posts. Hopefully, the many who seem to enjoy and get something out of my posts will still do so, and I don't want to discourage anyone who wants to message me privately to discuss one of my posts. If we can have a profitable, civil, and meaningful discussion about something, I'm all for it. But if all someone wants to do is fight and oppose, forget it.
There was a time I enjoyed the fight, and even got a kick out of stirring the pot. I don't anymore. The time spent fighting with the same people over and over again is not only not getting me anywhere, it's taking time away from me doing other things I'd rather do. I don't blame them for that. I blame myself. And I'm not going to indulge it anymore.
If you like what I post, thanks. I hope it helped. If you don't, then do what you have to do. Block me, unfriend me, scream and yell, whatever. I'm not wasting any more of my time fighting about it.
