I've been thinking the last few days about why people "UnFriend" other people from their Facebook accounts.
I've been "unfriended" a few times. Probably more times than I know. Most, I don't really care about. But some others I guess I have to admit have hurt a little bit. I mean, nobody really likes to find out they're not liked all that much, especially in a forum like Facebook, which -- lets be honest -- has the most distance you can really possibly have as it relates to a friendship.
I've "unfriended" a very few people in my days. In every case, it was either because they continually posted unwholesome pictures, or repeatedly made vile posts that had course or vile language. I mean, I really don't logon to look at naked pictures, or hear about how "f*%#ing" great someone's day was. I have never LMFAO, nor do I care to see anyone else do so.
Usually, I can overlook those things, but when it becomes clear that the poster has repeatedly posted these things BECAUSE they are vile or vulgar, that's when they get the boot from me. I see several people who I know are specifically posting or re posting those types of things specifically, for the purposes of, one can only imagine, shock value or because, like a middle school-er, they think it makes them look cool.
It doesn't of course, and I don't wanna look at it.
Otherwise, I've never "unfriended" anyone from my Friend List, even if their thoughts and opinions annoy me, or I otherwise disagree with them.
That's because I think it's kinda cowardly. I think there's a danger in shielding yourself from the thoughts and ideas of others, even if those thoughts and ideas don't gel with your own. I think our own thoughts and ideas get a little compromised, and at times don't hold a lot of water, if we are not willing to listen to or see the other side.
I like to think that when I'm espousing about some subject, that my opinion has a little credence because I've taken the time to see both sides of the issue, and at the very least educate myself a little about what the opposition has to say. In the end, if my outlook of the world only includes the views and ideas of those who agree with me, that can potentially be a very dangerous way to live your life, and.... well, I just find that all a little hypocritical.
Let's be honest, most people who claim they hate, say, Rush Limbaugh, have never heard a word Rush has ever said, to their detriment. Rather, they've let others -- often via the media and peer pressure -- decide for them what they should think, how they should feel, who they should like, and how they should act. Most people who dislike Rush have simply been told along the line that they should, and so they do. That's sad and dangerous all at the same time.
I put a lot of political things out there on my page. I'm an unashamed Conservative, with all the faults and benefits that come with that. But I can assure you, I've actually listed to dopes like Rachel Madow, Bill Maher, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and any number of various MSNBC motorheads. I don't like it. But if I don't hear the trash they spout, then I really don't have a handle on my own opinions.
Of course, I know full well that not everyone "uses" Facebook in the same way, and I fully admit I'm in no position to tell anyone how or why they should login and behave themselves on their own Wall. I mean, if knowing that Joe Smith ate crusted salmon and Brussels sprouts at 6:00 tonight and he puked it back up at 8:00 is your thing, then more power to ya!
And I, by contrast, have absolutely no interest in learning about what kind of Star Trek character I am, or what Aura I should be, or how Hillbilly I am, or what kind of wombat I should buy, or what State I really should live in.
As a side note, I did find out that were I a sitcom mother, I would be Claire Huxtable, a black woman from the early 80's. I know the difference between the words, "There," "They're" and "Their," and "Two," "Too" and "To." I NEVER respond to game requests and I play Candy Crush A LOT!
But I digress.
I understand that inasmuch as there are those who believe life should all be rainbows and lollipops and that God is just some great big Teddy Bear out there who just loves everybody no matter what, I also know there are a lot of seriously deranged people out there who see there sole purpose in life as creating pain in others, spewing hate at every turn. (Although I do believe the definition of "hate" is WAY overstated these days.) Nevertheless, I realize that most of these people use avenues like Facebook to further the narratives of their lives, despite the clear existence of the other side.
The benefit of keeping up with friends and family aside, I love the discourse and debate that can take place on Facebook. Sometimes, I put things out there simply for the debate. It's fun! Other times, I really am fishing to find out what's going on in the minds of others out there. I think that's important.
And I would never, ever, "unfriend" someone because they simply have different opinions from my own. I just think that's a kinda chicken way out of facing the parts of this life we don't want to face. And I remember the lesson of "sticks and stones" we all learned back in grade school. I like to think I'm tough enough to let a few unkind words roll off without getting my shorts all in a tizzy, especially in today's world where if you call a crook a crook, you might get sued. I don't offend that easily. Call me old-fashioned.
If you know me, you know I'm a pretty happy guy most of the time, and I'm pretty upbeat most of the time. It just seems like the time I get in front of my computer is the time I get to reflect on some of the aspects of life that are darker, and even if we don't want to face them, they're there nevertheless, and I get a chance to put some words down about those thoughts. Facebook is actually a pretty good way of getting those thoughts and ideas out there for people to ponder, just as it is a good place to put that encouraging word out there that might lift someone up. If you browse your Wall, and can get past all the "At the Dr.'s office waiting for my enema" posts and game requests, you'll find its a pretty good mix, overall, of the uplifting and thought-provoking -- even if those provoking thoughts are on the darker side of the street we don't like wandering down much.
I know what you're thinking.... Paul's just been "unfriended" by somebody, and he's venting, or worse, he's OFFENDED! {Gasp!} No, that's not the case. There's nothing overly specific here, as most people don't know they've ever been "unfriended." I know I have been in the past by some, and I'm sure to be again by others. Rather, this is something I've just thought about for a while, and it pops up every now and then when I see somebody rant on their page about how they're "cleaning out their Friend list, so beware!" There's no moral to this story.
But you know who you are! {Wink!}
