Over the last several years of my life, I've lost several people who were -- and still are -- very close and dear to my heart. Those losses, while tragic and deeply heartbreaking, also in many ways spurned Ginger and I on to live better lives. To enjoy every day a little more, to try to love others a little more, to not miss moments while we're in them, to not miss chances to tell others we love them, and to chase our dreams a little harder. In the end, each of those people made our lives a better while they were alive, and their passing taught us that life is precious and we should try to live every day to the fullest.
I lost another friend last week. He was not a friend I saw or spoke to with any regularity. In the last several years, hardly at all. He was a man I met many years ago, formed an incredible bond with, and then we moved on with our lives. Our paths crossed often over the years, though not often enough. But as with many great friendships, a great deal of time could pass between meetings, but the meetings themselves would feel as though no time had passed at all.
But this man had an impact on my life I can never accurately describe -- one of those life-altering impacts with lessons I carry with me to this very day. I hold a respect for him that cannot be measured. And my heart hurts deeply that he's gone.
John Myers was a hero in every sense of the word. A devoted husband, father, grandfather, and friend. And those aren't just words. In the years I knew him, our paths crossed most often at a sporting event for his kids or grandkids. Heck, he'd even show up to watch me play softball, or my own kids play ball. In fact, as I look back over the years, I can rarely recall a time we got together that DIDN'T involve some sporting event involving our kids or friends.
John Myers was a Vietnam Veteran. A war hero. A man willing to put his life on the line for others. There are thousands like him, and yet so very few among us everyday. It's not often one gets to interact with a real-life superhero. Shame on us we don't cherish it more when we do.
The truth is that in the latter years of my father's life, John was my Dad's best friend. That's how I came to know him. And subsequently, I met his wife, and his children, and I became good friends with them. His daughter, Amber, is still someone I have a severe crush on to this day (Don't worry... Ginger knows all about it!) Amber grew up to marry another great friend of mine -- a man, who at 15 years old, stood beside me as a groomsman in my wedding.
John's son, Johnny, has grown up to be a man of integrity himself, putting his life on the line everyday for the rest of us as a state policeman. Johnny is a dear friend of mine. We've shared many battles together on the softball field over the years. When he married his beautiful wife, Wendy, they honored me by asking me to serve as the DJ for their reception. That very day, I traveled five hours back to Indiana from Nashville, TN, and arrived late for the reception wearing only jean shorts and an Hawaiian shirt. But I was not going to miss that wedding. And they were not fazed by my attire at all.
Over the years, I've become friends with several of my parents' and step-parents' and in-laws' friends. I'm close with many of them.
But John Myers was different. And it all comes down to a single moment on a very stressful day.
The details of that moment belong only to me and John. The moment is for me. I've shared the details with only a select few, including my wife. But mostly, I keep it to myself. It's deeply personal. I'm sure to John, it was just another moment of John just being John. But for me, it was life-changing.
I'll just say this: In that moment, John pulled me aside and spoke healing words to me. He spoke moving words that were personal, and honest, and helpful, and impactful, at exactly the right moment, during one of the most stressful times of my life. He didn't have to. He was hurting too. It made no difference in his own life, and his own family. But he did it simply because it was the right thing to do. He saw a moment where something he could say or do could help someone else, and he did it. Just that simple.
And it changed my life. And created in me a respect for him that cannot be described. And it gave me a lesson I've tried to live by ever since. A sense of responsibility, maybe. To desperately try to do or say the right thing, at the right time, whenever the opportunity might present itself.
We all hope to be considered by others to be a "good man." Integrity and honor is something we pursue our whole lives. Whether or not we achieve any of that is up to others to decide. Sometimes, those verdicts aren't reached or even recognized until after someone passes.
But on those rare occasions, we can make that assessment about someone while they're still living amongst us. I pegged John Myers nearly 28 years ago. A good man. A man of integrity and honor. Because in a moment no one else noticed, when he had no real skin in the game, he did the right thing.
And he changed my life for the better. I will be forever grateful.
