The other day, a friend of mine mentioned that she had thought of me earlier in the week. She relayed a story about going out to dinner with some friends and that when she and her husband arrived for dinner, the friends were already there, and were seated diagonally from each other at the table. My friend, having had a stressful day, wanted to sit next to her husband, so she asked her friends to move so she could do so.
I was flattered she thought of me. She was reminded of a story my friend had told her about how I always insist on sitting next to my wife no matter who we're with or where we are.
I like sitting by my wife... a lot.
I'm not happy when I'm not near her. I'm away from her enough as it is, what with work and the regular rigors of everyday life. And so, when I get the chance to be with her, I want to be close to her. It's one of the reasons I married her, in addition to her cute butt.
When I tell others about this, any girls in the midst usually giggle and coo and tell me how sweet that is. This always puzzles me, as I can't fathom someone marrying someone next to whom they wouldn't want to sit on a regular basis. I'm baffled by any husband who found a woman attractive and intriguing enough that they married them, only to decide later that they don't like sitting next to them in a restaurant.
Which, of course, begs the question: How does this happen?
I'm not really sure, except to say that I don't think guys think far enough ahead before they get married.
My buddy of 25 years -- who is not merely a buddy, but more of a brother, so much so that we often introduce each other to others as brothers for simplicity sake -- will tell you that I am not happy when I am not close to my wife. He can regale you with stories in which I have become downright snippy, even in public, when denied the opportunity to be next to my wife, whether it be at a table in a restaurant, or a line at the theater, or the pew at church.
I love my wife very much. She is my best friend and I am comforted when she is near me. Very recently, I was supremely cared for by a friend who by happenstance was the nurse in the recovery room in which I was placed following surgery on my shoulder. I was having quite a bit of trouble recovering from the anesthesia. While this friend of mine was the greatest (thanks Sharon!) she can also now tell you of my desire to have my wife by my side and the calming effect it has on me.
So I don't get it when I meet guys who do everything they can to get away from their wives. It's true, I've met a lot of women who are hard to get along with. Sometimes, their husbands knew this before they married them and did it anyway. Sometimes, after the fact the woman decides she's tired of being likeable. But I've found one thing to be true: If the husband remains the kind of guy a wife wants to sit next to, the wife usually remains that kind of girl.
So here's my advice to young men (although youse girls would do well to follow the same advice.) When you're sizing up your partner to see if she's spouse material, be sure you're asking the right questions. Don't worry about what she'll look like in the morning, or whether she likes the toilet paper to come off the top of the roll or the bottom. Don't worry about the in-laws. Don't get caught up on how good the sex will be, because some day you won't look like you do now. It's not really even about who you want to grow old with, although that's close.
No, you better find someone you like. Whoever said you shouldn't date/marry your friend was a moron.
The question you ought to ask is: Is she someone I'll always want to sit next to?
