What Would I Do...

In the past several weeks and months, I’ve had several discussions and debates regarding not just the gay marriage issue, but the more encompassing issue of the moral and spiritual aspects of homosexuality in general.

You, of course, have seen it all over the traditional and social media platforms for the past several years. The homosexuality issue in general is the new media darling. It started a few years ago, wherein seemingly every television sitcom had a gay or lesbian character prominent in the cast. This person was usually fun-loving, happy, funny and everybody's lovabale sidekick. Usually just a swell guy or gal. That became standard fare in movies and TV shows for quite a while.

More recently, with the gay-marriage debate raging in courts all over the country, the media has made a BIG push to ensure that anyone who does not support gay marriage is labeled a bigot, a phobe, or the go-to term, a “hater.” Among the youth of today, a cultural shift has taken place. Not only has being gay become socially acceptable, but befriending or at least supporting gays has become the cool thing to do, much along the same way it became “cool” for white kids to start liking rap music back in the early ‘90’s.

The overriding theme most recently has become that we are all supposed to just “love” everybody. And while that is a very standard Biblical principle, it is a concept that has become almost entirely hijacked by the gay and lesbian community and their supporters. If anyone dares to even question the homosexual lifestyle, the issue of “loving” each other instantly gets tossed in their face.

Now, before I go further and truly get into the crux of this blog, let me give you a few statistics: According to this report by the Williams Institute, and at least two other stat sites I have researched, only 3.5% of the population identifies themselves as homosexual. That’s right. All the hoopla you’ve seen in the media over the last several weeks, months and years revolves around an issue that affects less than 5% of the population. For all intents and purposes, it is an issue that, given a lack of media coverage, the vast majority of the population simply would not care about.

Now, I’m not saying that just because they are a minute minority that they should be ignored. I’m just pointing out that the perception – primarily through the media -- is that this is an issue that affects and/or matters to a large amount of people, and that simply isn’t the case. Given that our entire political system is founded on a “majority rules” concept, I think it is important to keep this in mind within the context of this discussion.

So, with THAT being said, here we go.

In my recent debates and discussions, I’ve been asked on more than one occasion what my reaction would be if some day one of my children should come to me and disclose he was gay. “How would you feel then, Paul?” was how one questioner put it to me.

So I will answer it here.

Let me begin my answer with this: I believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God. I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage – that marriage was ordained by God to be intended for one man and one woman. And I believe that God’s Holy Word condemns homosexuality as a sin, and that the Bible is clear that those who practice homosexuality as an unrepentant lifestyle will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

There, I said it.

That’s what I believe, and I will go to my grave defending what I believe to be the truth of Scripture as it relates to homosexuality. Sure, I’ve read many alternative viewpoints that have tried in vain to twist those Scriptures into something they’re not. I’ve read and listened to many dissenting views that claim I am misinterpreting Scripture. I’ve even read one wherein the writer simply said the Apostle Paul was nuts when he lists the consequences of homosexual acts in the end of Romans 1. That Paul simply didn’t know any better when he listed homosexual acts alongside the likes of murder, deceit, malice and God-hating.

Yes, I’ve read and heard virtually every dissenting viewpoint there is to show that mostly, the Bible just got it wrong, or is no longer relevant in today’s world with regard to homosexuality. And in the end, nothing I’ve come across has any more shred of truth or validity to it than Scripture.

So the default argument for those who just cannot bring themselves to say, “Well, you know, the Bible just doesn’t work for my anymore,” has come to this: God says to love each other. Aren’t we all just supposed to love one another? And if God loves everybody, and we love everybody, doesn’t that mean that God wouldn’t condemn those who choose to have same-sex relationships?

And the answer to that, unfortunately, is no. That’s not what the Bible teaches.

But here’s the real problem – and stay with me. I promise I’m going to answer the big questions soon: Right now, in our society, the gay movement and their supporters simply will not allow the rest of us to love them. Christians shout the mantra all the time, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” And while that statement doesn’t actually exist in Scripture, it is a fairly accurate assessment of how we, as Christians, are supposed to deal with those – including ourselves – who sin against God in one way or another. And I’m the first to admit that we – as Christians – don’t always do the best job of loving the sinner the way we ought to. And we could all seek to do a better job.

But if we understand that homosexuality is a sin that is no better or no worse than any other sin – according to the Bible – then we have to understand that we cannot treat gay people any differently than we might treat any other person who is apart from God, whether that be the person who is openly living a life that is defiant to God, or the person we see at church every Sunday, and yet we know is not living a Christian lifestyle out in the real world.

So, the reality is that we all have people in our lives we consider to be friends, or even family members, who are not Christians. And let’s not bog ourselves down in this discussion on the issue of judging others. I’ve covered that issue in a different blog here. Let’s just suffice to say that we are capable, in general terms, of discerning those who are followers of God and those who are not. And let’s say that it does not matter the transgression, only that it is a lifestyle that in one way or another would be considered sinful according to our belief in the Bible, and contributes to separating them from God.

In other words, that someone is a homosexual is irrelevant. What matters is that they are living a sinful life that’s going to keep them from Heaven. The extremes could be murder, thievery, rape, etc. But, according to the Bible, they also include gossips, cheats and slanderers. It doesn’t matter the sin. It is sin in general that keeping them down.

Yet we are instructed Biblically to love them all. And let’s not forget – we’re all guilty of sin. But Jesus Christ has given us forgiveness – if we are willing to give our lives to Him and repent of those sins. Where we run into real trouble is when we decide – arbitrarily, at best – that something, such as homosexuality is not a sin, and we decide to live that lifestyle. But that could also just as easily be the guy who decides to have an affair on his wife, or the girl who chooses to spread gossip behind her coworkers’ backs. It’s not that they can’t be forgiven of those sins were they willing to repent of them, but rather that they decide to somehow try to justify it and continue to live in that life. After all, they’re good people at heart… God wouldn’t send a good person to hell, would He?

But the problem with the gay movement and its support base in today’s world is that they won’t allow us to “love the sinner” and hate the sin. We are not even allowed to hate the sin! If we do, we are instantly labeled as a “hater” and never given the chance to love them. They complain about how they aren’t loved, but the truth is that they never give us the chance to do so, because the moment you point out that you believe homosexuality is a sin, they shut you out, and you get thrown into the bigot pile.

I’ve tried… believe me, I’ve tried. And it’s near impossible in today’s society. They only way they see “love” is if I tell them, “It’s OK… you do what you want. I won’t condemn you.” Unfortunately, I can’t support a lifestyle that I believe to be against the will of God. I want to love them, and pray for them, and care enough to walk along side by side with them and help them see the true love and grace and mercy of Jesus. But they’ve set the definition of “loving” them at no less than telling them that what they’re doing is perfectly OK, and should never be compared to such vile things as rape and murder and lying and cheating.

And I’m sorry, I just can’t go there.

So, finally, here’s the answer to the question of what I would do if one of my sons told me he was gay.

The truth, first and foremost, is that I cannot accurately say exactly what I would do in any situation until I was placed there. Walk a mile in their shoes, as it were. But here’s what I think I would do.

I would love him. I would tell him that nothing in the world could ever separate me from loving my child. And that as God loves me, I would love him. I would make it perfectly clear that I cannot support a lifestyle that is separate from God, not matter what that lifestyle is. I would do my best to make him understand that being gay is not the issue, but rather going against God is. I would make him understand that that confession would be no worse or no better than him simply saying to me, “You know Dad, all that stuff you’ve taught me about Jesus all these years just doesn’t fit with me anymore.”

I suppose our lives in general wouldn’t cross paths all that much. I mean, as for me and my house, we’re going to serve the Lord. And our lives revolve around doing things and being with people that are doing the same. I mean, my wife and I are non-drinkers, so we don’t hang out with people who go out drinking, and we don’t socially attend many get-togethers where a lot of alcohol is present. So it’s probably safe to say that since we wouldn’t have a lot in common with our son, we probably wouldn’t spend a lot of time together. And that would be sad.

Would he be banned from, say, Thanksgiving? Of course not! That’s ludicrous to even think. However, I suppose it remains to be seen just what the definition of “not supporting” his lifestyle would really mean – physically and logistically. Would welcoming him and his partner into our home and allowing them to subsist as a couple constitute “supporting” their lifestyle? I suppose we’d just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

But there would be no ambiguity as to where I stood. But there would also be no question as to my love for my son.

I would hope I would be like the father of the prodigal son in the Bible. He gave his son what was coming to him and sent him on his way when the son made it clear he didn’t want to live the life his father had set forth for him.

But when the son, after living the ways of the world, returned, admitting his transgressions, the father didn’t even ask for an explanation. He joyously accepted the son back into the fold, even throwing a party to celebrate the return.

That’s the way God is for us, you know. His arms are ALWAYS open, ready to accept us back into His loving embrace, no matter the transgression. We only need to turn away from the world and back to Him. That’s the way I’d like to think I’d be.

And I’d make sure my son knew that.