But there's lots of little things that bug me that really don't warrant whole articles, or even marginal rants. So I've decided to compile a simple list of things that bother me. They bother me a lot, actually, but probably only need a sentence or two to explain. Maybe they're more like pet peeves. And maybe you'll agree with some or all. Maybe you won't.
I will say, as a matter of preface, that many of these revolve around the news. Specifically, TV news. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
There's more than 20, to be sure. But 20 is enough. So here we go.
1) Much in the same way we don't need to see a weatherman standing out in the snow to tell us it's snowing, I hate it when a reporter goes "live at the scene" when there's nothing at the scene going on. For example, when someone is going to be arraigned at the court house later in the day, I don't need the reporter telling the story to be standing in front of a closed court house at 6 in the morning. They could tell me the story from the studio and it would still make sense. Go to the court house when the criminal is there and something is happening, not before.
2) I don't care about some kid in elementary school in Iowa. Doesn't affect me here in Indiana. If that's all the news you have, lop off one of the 6 hours you're on the air.
3) Since when did tweets and Facebook posts from random viewers become relevant to the story? You've seen them. "Jim Irsay was busted for DUI today. Here's what some of our viewers had to say." I don't give a crap about what Joe Smith thinks about Jim Irsay. For that matter, I don't care what LeBron James thinks about it either.
4) Why can't they make windshield wipers that work in the Wintertime? Didn't we have the technology to send some guy to the moon nearly 50 years ago? Surely, some of that technology can be transferred to a usable, functional wintertime windshield wiper.
5) What right to any of us have to care about what kind of commercial a particular company airs? In light of the Super Bowl, you didn't like Nationwide's downer ad? Who cares? You think Mt. Dew's drink ad was funny? Great. You didn't like McDonald's ads with all the different signs? So what? Turn the channel, buy they drink, don't go to McDonalds. NO ONE Cares!
6) You don't like what I post on MY Facebook page, post your opinion if you want to or don't read it. I'm not bothered by it one way or another. If I post something on your Facebook page disagreeing with your views, and you don't like it? Then don't post stupid stuff you don't want people's opinions on.
7) Norm Macdonald said it best when he said, "Back in the old days, they only had 30 minutes of news every night.... Turns out, they had it about right!" I don't need to see the same stuff over again every half hour for 4 hours. 30 minutes once will just about cover it.
8) It snows in the wintertime here in Indiana, and it gets hot in the Summer. Stop pretending it's newsworthy.
9) Ellen is not a hero. She's a talk-show host. And a funny comedienne. Same with Oprah, except she's not funny. They both do nice things for people. Good for them.
10) Stop asking sports figures "How they feel?" The answer is always the same. If they won, they feel great, and if they lost, they feel like crap. A very good writer, Paul Daugherty, of the Cincinnati Enquirer, said it best. "Truth is, lots of players either have nothing enlightening to say, or choose not to say it. Fine. I'm a writer. I get paid for my words to be better than theirs. Quotes are highly overrated." He's right. Athletes are paid to play, not talk. Writers are paid to write, not play. Write the story, OK? We know how the player feels.
11) Stop asking the criminal as he's escorted by in handcuffs by authorities, "Did you kill that little girl?" or "Did you intentionally blow up that house?" They're not going to answer that question. Has anyone ever said, "Yeah I killed her, so what?" They NEVER have, and they're never going to. It's stupid and makes you look silly.
12) Reality television is not real, in any sense of the word. It's a TELEVISION show. Period, and only designed and scripted to attract advertisers viewers. There is nothing about American Idol or Honey Boo Boo that isn't fixed. Oh sure, they might be interesting people, but the show is scripted, as is most usually the outcome. It's like pro wrestling... they're really flying off the top ring, but the winner is pre-determined.
13) Yield signs mean yield. That's why they're different from Stop signs. (On a side note, Roundabouts are NOT dangerous. They're wonderful. What's dangerous is dopey drivers who don't know what a Yield sign means.)
14) Why does our legislature care if one guy in Angola owns a Bengal tiger when kids get their faces ripped off by Pitbulls and Rottweilers every day?
15) If you own a Pitbull, stop trying to convince everyone they're not dangerous. They are. Get over it. There are no stories on the news about Poodles killing little kids.
16) Christians aren't blowing up airplanes. Or subways. Or embassies. Or chopping off innocent people's heads. Ain't happening. We all know who is.
17) Why is it the weatherman can tell me two weeks in advance that its going to snow, but when the storm actually arrives, they have no clue on how much snow we'll get?
18) Learn how to use the internet, and specifically, email. It's not that hard.
19) More people like mashed potatoes and mac and cheese than do sprouts and vegetables. It's not my fault, it's the way it is. And they like chocolate chip cookies better than oatmeal raisin. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Keep this in mind the next time you're planning a big party.
20) Twitter is stupid. There, I said it.
And one to grow on) When we were little kids, we were taught that sticks and stones may break our bones, but words could never harm us. It's true. It's time we all grow up.
And one to grow on) When we were little kids, we were taught that sticks and stones may break our bones, but words could never harm us. It's true. It's time we all grow up.
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