Another Tragic Suicide

This is the kind of post that usually gets me in trouble.

It's the kind of post that some people read, and then instantly label me as "uncaring," "unloving" or "cold-hearted." It's the kind of post that readers subsequently tell me I have no right to "judge" or that I should be more like Jesus.

Truth be told, I get those responses from Christians and non-believers alike.

It's usually because they don't pay attention. (Which is true of about 90% of the Twitter universe, but I digress.)

I read this story a couple days ago. It's the tragic story of a suicide. A teenage boy took his own life. Stepped in front of a moving semi-truck in the middle of an interstate. You can read the story for yourself here. Please do, because the details of it are important to what I'm about the write.

You'll notice a couple things first. One, as is usually the case in stories like this, the reporters didn't bother to get both sides of the story. Nobody has talked to the parents. As yet, I can't find one report that includes any comment from them. They managed to pull a quote from Cincinnati's "first openly gay city councilman," but they didn't talk to the parents. Didn't even make the attempt, from what I can tell. That's important to note.

Two, you'll notice that the story (and every other one I've read covering it) refers to the young boy as "her." It's shoddy reporting at its worst. It's almost Rule #1 in reporting: Correctly report the gender of the subject. This teen was most definitely a male in every way. You'll further notice that I will refer to him as "him."

Three, its not a unique story. Oh, the reporter wants you to believe it is, because it has a sensational sub-plot. But it's not. At its core, it is the tragic story of yet another teen who killed himself because he was confused about life and couldn't see any alternative. And even worse, lives in a society wherein the media glamorizes suicide as "peaceful" and "freeing."

Four, the article (and, again, each piece I've read about it) paints the parents in a very negative light. On purpose, I suspect, but easy to do when you don't bother to get the other side of the story.

So, with those aspects out there, let me say this: This is a tragic, sad story. Heartbreaking that a teen took his own life in his prime, needlessly and senselessly, while those around him were either unable to, or incapable of, helping him. My heart goes out to his family in this loss.

And this is the point where you, as the reader, have a responsibility to PAY ATTENTION! Because I do not in any way want to belittle this death, blame the victim, or dance on a grave.

Rather, what I want to do here is focus ON THE REPORT. The Story. Or even better, how the story is portrayed.

When you read this young man's post, you will come away with the idea that his parents were hateful, heartless monsters. You will believe that they were righteous, indignant, religious zealots who were stone hearted enough to not let their little boy just "be who he wanted to be."

At least, that's how the boy portrayed them. And that's how the reporters who've covered the story have allowed it to play out, because they haven't bothered to get the other side of the story. In the end, they all might be right. These parents might be the cold-hearted bigots they're made out to be.

But we'll never really know, will we?

You see, today's society tells us that we're all allowed to be whoever or whatever we so choose. And if we don't accept that blindly then we are racists, or bigots, or "phobes" of one sort or another, or heartless, or whatever you want to call us.

But think -- for just a moment -- about what these parents were being asked to do. They were being asked -- no, rather, "told" -- to reject a lifetime of doctrine, teaching, standards, morals and convictions. They are being told to reject a theology that is thousands of years old and is the foundation this country was built on...

...all because their little boy decided one day he wanted to be a chick instead of a dude.

(That's the part that usually gets me in trouble.)

Please -- stay focused -- I don't want to get into the debate about whether he "chose" to be transgender, or whether he just "discovered" it. That's a different debate.

The reality is, he was a male. In every way, shape and form. I don't even pretend to know the ins and outs of transgenderism, but I know that even if it were possible to change gender (which I do not believe it is) this young man hadn't even started the process. He wanted to, that much is sure. But hadn't. And even if he had, he was born a MALE. Believe in God if you want to or not, even scientifically speaking, he was male.

And yet, his parents, raised as Christians, living their faith, trying to raise their family the best they know how, and -- despite the physical and scientific evidence -- are just supposed to dismiss all that in an instant because their boy thought he was a little girl?

The teen himself admits the parents tried to get him help. HE didn't think it was helpful, and YOU might not think it was helpful, but it was what the PARENTS knew and believed to be right. They are Christians, so they sought Christian help. Why is that so bad? Because they lost this fight? So that makes them wrong?

Non-Christians do not regularly seek out Christian advice, or counsel, or therapy in times of need. Why is it so disturbing that Christians would not then seek out non-Christian advice? Monsters, you say? I bet when push comes to shove, you seek out whoever you are most comfortable with.

What if they were right along? What if it is true that God doesn't make mistakes? What if the Bible is true when it says the devil tries to deceive people? What if the devil deceived this little boy into taking his own life? Does it make you feel any better to know Satan won instead of God?

See, that's the part those who want to support the boy don't want to face. That's the side of the story those with an agenda don't want to tell. We want to side with the teen who clearly was confused about life. Because that is the position that is cool and chic in today's world. But in the end, we don't want to face the fact that maybe -- just maybe -- the parents were right.

When our soldiers go off to war, sometimes they get killed. But the death doesn't make the cause any less worth fighting. It's tragic and sad, but the cause is still just. I'm sure these parents are as heartbroken about this as any parents would be. And I'm sure they're questioning everything they've ever said or did regarding their son. And I bet they're beating themselves up to the bitter end trying to think of what the could have done different. I bet if they ever get the chance, they might do some things differently. But if they are true Christians, I bet they stand firm in their faith. Because they know that sometimes, when we do battle with Satan, we lose. And people get killed.

You might say that this teen didn't ask to go off to war. But then again, maybe he did. Maybe his "choice" was to go toe to toe with the devil in attempt to challenge God's perfect plan. Maybe he listened to the devil's ticklish plans and chose to dance. And maybe he lost. Maybe we all lost in this case.

Just Maybe.